A simple joy

You don't fully understand what it means to not be able to walk until you come across a skunk and realize that you can't run away. XD

I walked for thirty-five minutes this evening. That's a new record for me.
Scratch that. Not only is it a new record time-wise, but in that time I walked around my entire neighborhood.
Yeah, that's right. I walked around the entire neighborhood.
Never mind that I was able to walk that distance in twenty minutes prior to this entire leg fiasco or that I am now completely spent after doing it.
Two months ago I wasn't able to walk at all.
This, my friends, is what we call progress.

This update brought to you by: My trusty cane.

I would like to thank my cane. It helps me balance. When I am exhausted it offers some degree of support (even though we all know that canes are not supposed to offer physical support). Most importantly, it is a stylish fashion accessory. Sans cane I am a hobbler. I would be very much lost without it and is deserves some recognition. So here's to my cane!

Now if only the muscles in my ankle would sort them self out and stop hurting, I would be one happy gal. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy irregardless of what my ankle does. I mean, two months ago the idea of putting one foot down in front of the other was completely foreign to me and now I'm able to do it several thousand times in a row before needing a good long rest. So by no means am I complaining. I'm just saying that it would be the cherry on top if my ankle would stop hurting. Like everything else, this should sort itself out with time. One does not simply walk without pain after being fully non-weight bearing for nine months.

On a serious note though, things are going exceptionally well. Physiotherapy was so happy with me this week that she said I don't have to come back for another three weeks. In her opinion, all the components of walking properly are there; now it's just a matter of building up strength and endurance. Hearing that is pure happiness. As previously mentioned, I still hobble like crazy without my cane, but with it my walking ability it near perfect. My knee bends accordingly; I have good toe-to-heal action going on; my hips and shoulders are level. Now the muscles just need to build up or, as I like to say, un-atrophy.  Over the next weeks I am supposed to continue my exercises and walk everyday. On top of that, I am supposed to slowly increases the amount of time I can walk for (ultimate goal here is an hour). And added to that, in about a week and a half I can start walking around the house without my cane (permitting that I don't hobble or lurch around too much without it).

In all honesty, I don't always notice the progress as it happens. There are stretches of day, sometimes even weeks, where I feel like I'm not getting anywhere at all. This entire process is slow and frustrating. I see other people, especially other young adults, out and about, running, hopping, having fun, their bodies doing what ever they desire them to. Mine doesn't, and it won't for some time yet. I have been patient and stuck at home for so long, hindered by physical limitation, that it is hard to tell myself to be patient a little while longer. My brain is running ahead and doesn't like to pause for my body to catch up. This process can be infuriating. But then, all of a sudden, there is a whole slew of things I realize that can do or am improving at. I can not describe the feeling of wonder, satisfaction, accomplishment that sets in when I discover what I can do. While out with my mum yesterday, I told here that of everything I have ever done and will ever do in my life, getting through the past year and learning to walk again will be my greatest accomplishments. These are the things that I am most proud of. It makes me reevaluate what is truly important in life. Education is important and necessary, getting a good job secures a stable and comfortable future, but there are so many joys to be had just from the simple ability of being able to walk. It is beautiful and so so so rewarding. I have a feeling it's one of those things you can only truly stop taking for granted once you've already lost the ability to do it. Those are my thoughts on the matter, anyways.

Going to bed very happy tonight. Tired, but oh so happy.  Time for a cup of tea, to finish reading Lord of the Rings, and a good long sleep.

Paper butterfly mobile

I spent the last few days making a mobile out of origami butterflies. Call it one of the perks about hobbling and having squishy bone inside your leg. At most, I'm able to walk for thirty minutes (well, at least if I want to go at a decent speed, probably a bit more if I walk really slowly or take lots of break - this girl loves the site of a bench these days!), so there's lots of time spent sitting around at home. What better way to spend that time than working on crafts? That, or reading.

I found the instructions for the butterflies on Pinterest. I bought the big metal rings (Dollarama) and paper (Dollar Tree) specifically for this project, albeit a very long time ago, and the beads, ribbon and thread were regular parts of my craft supply stash. I came up with the design of the mobile myself and don't think I could be more pleased with it! It's lovely to sit on my bed and watch the butterflies gently swaying and turning in the breeze.

Berries, stitching, hobbling

Berry picking is good physiotherapy - it requires a lot of balance and coordination. It's also really delicious. I got an entire bowl full today, and a large mixing bowl the other day. There are still plenty more on the bush in the garden, but they aren't really to be picked yet. My mum and I are going to try to make jam with them this week. Fingers crossed for glorious, delicious raspberry jam!

 Fingers stained reddish purple.

 

On another note, I finished another (albeit far smaller) cross stitch project last week. The frame is to big, so I need to get a smaller one, but I really wanted to see how it looked framed. I also still need to press it so it lies completely flat - ironing alone didn't do the trick. Nonetheless, I love it! For those interested, it is the Seashore Sample by Madeleine Floyd and took approximately fifty hours to stitch.

I'm now onto the final cross stitch project that I wanted to complete before school begins in September and a return to normal life. I'm craving that return. I feel like I've been shut up in this house for ages. The loneliness and isolation have by far been the most difficult part of this entire fiasco. That, and wondering if I will ever recover and return to normal. I'm starting to get a bit desperate; having school to look forward to is immensely important. It's like this one thing I've been cloning to for months and months, no matter how horrible I felt, discouraged I was, or the news I got from my doctors/surgeon. And now it's almost within grasp, just a little longer. The butterfly project will help me get there. If taking a year out of my life for health issues was good for anything, it was making a dent in my pile of cross stitch projects. Several big ones and a many smaller ones are now complete - my place is going to look so lovely when I move out.

Speaking of school and a return to normal, my walking is improving every day. I wouldn't say I can really walk without my cane yet - it's more a hobble than anything else. Yeah, that's right, I'm a hobbler. But things are going really well with the cane. On Thursday I walked for half an hour. Thirty whole minutes. And I'm not exaggerating that either or rounding up to make it sound better. I timed myself, so I know that I actually walked thirty minutes. The goal physio has set for me is and hour, so I'm well on my way.

On a final note, I decorated my cane. It just looked so drab. Drab, sad... Not as drab as my crutches looked, but not nice either. Also, it seems like a good number of people in this city all own the exact same kind of cane. I don;t know how many times now I have been out and caught myself thinking "Hey, that guy has the same can as me!" I thought it would be nice to make mine look a bit different. Plus I'm young. Young people shouldn't need canes, and if they do they should be hip and fun. It's amazing what a difference a bit of ribbon and tape can do!