Puttering around

I haven't posted in a while. I haven't really felt like interacting with the world. Like an animal, injured by people on the hunt, I have retreated to lick my wounds (not literally of course!). But I can't stay in my house forever. I have to come face the world again. Both the awakening sunshine and the people who stare at me, at my crutches, at my PICC line, at my tubing and IV pump.

My post-op appointment is in the morning, at 11:45am. I would say this is a good thing because I usually get stuck with the dreaded 8:00am appointments, which really sucks when it takes an hour to get to the hospital (Yay! but not so much for waking up at 6:00am when you are ill), but I am up at 8:00 everyday for the home nurse anyways. I know, I know... 8:00am is a very reasonable time to get up, and many people have to crawl out of their cozy beds much earlier than that, but when you have had a bone infection for six years, did nine months of antibiotics, then had yet another surgery, and switched to IV antibiotics, 8:00am shouldn't even be an option on the alarm clock.

I won't lie about it. I have been a bit sad the last few days. I suppose sad isn't actually the right word to describe it. No, I have been realistic. Yesterday was the first day I voiced my concerns to one particular nurse. I am usually quite upbeat when the nurse arrives, but yesterday I really needed a day to vent. To just moop around and let my feelings out. Of course, that wasn't allowed by the nurse. She kept going on how I needed happy thoughts to get better because a lack of optimism decreases the likely hood of getting better. But that's the things. I am not not optimistic. I just see things as they are. I have had an infection for six years. So far my doctors still don't know the type of bacteria causing the infection, which makes it very hard to figure out the best medication with which to treat things. I just don't want to set my expectations to high.

The two weeks since surgery have been mostly agreeable. I went on a nice drive with my mom about a week ago, and than out to Niagara on the Lake for a quick, improvised picnic, e.g. go to the little super market there to buy some drinks, muffins, and a bag of chips, and then go to the park for a small stroll (is it strolling when you are on crutches?) and a scrumptiously simple feast! After tomorrows appointment my mom and I will take the scenic route home, and on Saturday my best friend Beth is coming over for a bit. Next week Thursday I have an appointment with my infectious disease specialist, and Beth is coming with my mom and I so we can go to IKEA together afterward, since it is on the route home. And then on Saturday my opa is arriving from the Netherlands for just over a week.

Physically I have been surviving. The incision site hardly hurt at all compared to the one of the previous surgery. Since I got home from the hospital I have only taken three percocets (really tried to stay away from those as they are so addictive, and they were given out like candy in the hospital) and a few Tylenol extra strengths. But the staples have been pinching like crazy. I will be very happy if they come out tomorrow (fingers crossed). The muscles in my leg are still fairly sore. I can walk on the leg unaided because the bone is strong enough, but the doctor said to stay on them, which is good because if I move a lot (still not a lot) or to quickly the muscles spasm and hurt. Sometimes they just hurt on their own! I have been really really exhausted (thanks a lot antibiotics! - sarcasm), more so than before surgery so that isn't fun. I will bring it up with my surgeon at post-op. The antibiotics make my my mouth taste really sweet, and make my dizzy and drowsy. And as one nurse said, "It is pretty much to get constipated while on Tazocin." I know, tmi, tmi, but my stomach is driving my crazy.

My PICC line thankfully turned out not to be infected. It just really likes to ooze, and since my latest dressing change on Tuesday it has decided to bleed quite a bit. The nurses blame it on using the crutches on the stairs, but it started to bleed right after the dressing change. I think it is just bound to bleed, no matter what. And it is so itchy under the dressing. It would be just my luck to be allergic to the tegaderm!

I am really tired now, so I should get to bed. 8:00am comes to soon... and if I stay up any longer I will be awake when the IV pump goes off for the next dose. It makes more noise at night because there is less fluid in the IV bag because it is the last dose before the bag is changed so the pump has to work harder...its a weird clicking noise that makes it hard to fall asleep. I will try to updates after post-op tomorrow. It will likely be sometime in the late afternoon/early evening as the wait times can be pretty long and I have some errands to run (haha the irony) once back from the hospital. I also have some other stuff I want to post about, so hopefully I will get to that in the next few days.