Elephants and bone infections

Several weeks of feeling horrible and tired and about two weeks of trying to get in contact with my infectious disease specialist came to a head yesterday afternoon, leaving my clinicial shift at one hospital early to head to the emergency department at the hospital my surgeon works at, aborted shortly later to rush to a third hospital to have an impromptu appointment with infectious disease.

To sum it up, I have lots to talk about. But I am way to tired now. No, not tired. Exhausted. Every inch of my body, down to my fingers taping like a drunk chicken on my keyboard, are drained. My brain too... thank god for spell checker! I didn't think it was possible, but I am pretty sure I have passed my wall. The one you hit when you think you can't go any further. Guess what? You can... it feels horrible. Chronic bone infections suck.

I will try to update this weekend, but make no promises.

Instead, here are some pictures of bronze elephants. I see them every time I drive up to Hamilton for school or to go to the hospital. At Christmas someone put a Santa hat on one of the little ones. Mum and I stopped to get a look close up on the way home from Hamilton today. I had to go back this morning because the lab, or "Specimen Collection Area" as the hospital calls it all fancy and such, closed for the day before I saw my doctor yesterday. I was exhausted from the moment I opened my eyes this morning (after nine hours sleep...), but mum thought I needed some cheering up. It worked!

 

On another fun note, a corpse flower bloomed last month in the McMaster University greenhouse. It had bloomed earlier in the year, so it was quite unexpected. I didn't have time to see it then, and was a bit bummed out what with surgery an all requiring me to take two semester off which would mean not being able to go see the flower if it did come up, but it did! One of my classmates told me about it, so we went to see it. I liked it so much I went back in the evening (extended viewing hours until 11 pm!), and got a few quick pictures with the cell phone. 

This is the corpse flower. The school had a naming competition for the plant. The name that won was Magnus.

These are moon cacti. I heard you can order these online and would love to get a hole of one.

My favorite plant in the greenhouse - living stones, or Lithops, a type of succulent.

Reaching my limit

I just finished having a good long cry.
After seeing my orthopedic surgeon on May 29th I had several lovely days without night sweats, to the point I thought, hey, maybe they are over. But they weren't. Happens Three nights in a row - Wednesday,Thursday, Friday night. I was completely spent on Wednesday, followed by a very long day on Thursday (up at 4:30am to get to clinical on time, and not home back in St. Catharines until 11:00pm). Friday I was completely spent again. Saturday was still tired by a bit better. And today is completely utterly drained. So drained I don't see myself getting an assignment done and handed on time. That is not like me. I always get things done well in advance, always get top marks. I make it a point to put extra effort into my school work just so the bone infection doesn't get the best of me. But not this time. I am more than fried. My brain feels like mush, my thoughts are slow like molasses.

I mean it when I say I don't think I have felt this horrible since before I was diagnosed in 2011.

Tomorrow morning I will call infectious disease - see if she wants me back on antibiotics. I am assuming she will... so much for enjoying summer and feeling well before surgery once the semester ends. I have been having more bone pain as well, and a new small red bump had shown up on my shin. If this the result of stopping the doxycycline on the 27th? Is this what I get for pumping myself full of them for 15 weeks? Something that is supposed to make me feel better? The effect goes away almost instantly once I stop them? If this is how I feel from now until surgery, I don't know how, or if, I can manage.

So I had a good cry. I am still knackered, but I feel a tad better emotionally.
I don't like to use the word hate. It is a strong word, an ugly word. But I hate chronic osteomyelitis. An ugly word to match an ugly infection. The two fit perfectly together.