Reaching my limit

I just finished having a good long cry.
After seeing my orthopedic surgeon on May 29th I had several lovely days without night sweats, to the point I thought, hey, maybe they are over. But they weren't. Happens Three nights in a row - Wednesday,Thursday, Friday night. I was completely spent on Wednesday, followed by a very long day on Thursday (up at 4:30am to get to clinical on time, and not home back in St. Catharines until 11:00pm). Friday I was completely spent again. Saturday was still tired by a bit better. And today is completely utterly drained. So drained I don't see myself getting an assignment done and handed on time. That is not like me. I always get things done well in advance, always get top marks. I make it a point to put extra effort into my school work just so the bone infection doesn't get the best of me. But not this time. I am more than fried. My brain feels like mush, my thoughts are slow like molasses.

I mean it when I say I don't think I have felt this horrible since before I was diagnosed in 2011.

Tomorrow morning I will call infectious disease - see if she wants me back on antibiotics. I am assuming she will... so much for enjoying summer and feeling well before surgery once the semester ends. I have been having more bone pain as well, and a new small red bump had shown up on my shin. If this the result of stopping the doxycycline on the 27th? Is this what I get for pumping myself full of them for 15 weeks? Something that is supposed to make me feel better? The effect goes away almost instantly once I stop them? If this is how I feel from now until surgery, I don't know how, or if, I can manage.

So I had a good cry. I am still knackered, but I feel a tad better emotionally.
I don't like to use the word hate. It is a strong word, an ugly word. But I hate chronic osteomyelitis. An ugly word to match an ugly infection. The two fit perfectly together.