Truth be told, I needed a good long break from blogging. Not blogging perse. I actually really enjoy blogging. No, I just needed a nice long break from the subject matter - my health - that I had been blogging about for so long. Medical problems and surgeries make for heavy writing matterial.
In a way, I kind of regret the break. The goal of this blog was always to keep a record of events, and up until that point that record was pretty thorough. Impressively so, in my book, especially considering how much time I spent in a narcotic induced haze. But it all started getting to me right around the time the fixator came off. So much of my life has been focused around my health over the last decade. I
Things with my leg are going well. I've been off of antibiotics for a little under four months. I haven't had any really signs of infection. It's kind of hard to say that, because I'm still getting used to the way my leg is now. There's still a lot of numbness in my leg, for one thing. I'm not sure if I will ever get all of that feeling back. Only time will tell for sure. As a result, it's hard to figure out which feelings are normal or not. And at this point, my legs been through so much that some pain and discomfort is normal, and probably will be for the rest of my life. On top of that, my bone is still growing and hardning, and that causes quite a bit of pain and discomfort. How do I distinguish between the new permanent normal kind of pain, bone growing pain, and potentially abnormal pain? It's kind of hard to say... Furthermore, I'm a bit antsy about the whole matter. And by that I mean every little ache and pain has me worrying if the infection is back or not. Given how long I had the infection and all the miserable stuff it put me through, this is normal and to be expected. It doesn't mean it doesn't suck, because it totally does. But worrying about what exactly is causing pain or discomfort and why is a fact of life when you have lived with something for so long and your doctor's can't give you a 100% guarentee that you have actually beaten it. So in the mean time I watch and wait and try to get on with life as best as I can.
That hasn't actually been too hard to do. The nursing program I am in accepted me back now that my health is back on track. I'm curretly half way through the third (of four) semesters. I'm even able to complete my twelve hour clinical shifts (albeit with compression stockings, a mixture of tylenol and ibuprofen, my cane, and ample of extra opprotunities to site down whenever I need to). Midterm exams are coming up on Wednesday. Following that, I am going on a very well earned vacation. Yes! That's right! I'm going on holiday. It's hard to imagine that a little under five month ago I was still sitting at home with that shiny blue hunkof metal securely attached to my leg, and now I am going on vacation. I haven't been on holiday in nearly a decade. After all that's happened over the last year, I need one. I will be crossing over to the United Stated for eight days to visit my boyfriend. I'm leaving early Friday afternoon. I'm both excited and a bit aprehensive about the traveling. On the one hand, I'm really enthusiastic about taking the train (I'll be taking a train for an hour and a half, followed by an hour layover, and then a bus ride for just over an hour before being picked up by my boyfriend and crossing the boarder), but I'm nervous about travelling alone in an unfamiliar city with what essentially still is a gimpy leg (because no matter how much improvement I have made over the last five months, I would be kidding myself if I said my leg was normal at this point). We're going camping this weekend and have a bunch of fun stuff planned for next week (amsement park, haunted hay ride, bookstore - because I am that much of a nerd). Despite making it through four years of university and half of the nursing program, I've never been away during reading week. I worked super head up until now so I could go on holiday and not have to worry about any school work during the week off. It's going to be a fantastice holiday and it's going to help me feel like a normal, healthy person.
I have been working on several updates for this blog. I hope to get some up on Thursday, but make no guarentees. Between studying for exams tomorrow, actually exams on Wednesday, and packing on Thursday, it might be hard to squeeze in some person blogging time. But the intent it there. Until then, I just wanted to leave you with some pictues. On the left, me five months ago when I still had external fixator, completely unable to walk; On the right, at the hospital for a twevle hour clinical shift, no longer the one reciving the care, this time prividng it XD.
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