Waiting with Plutarch and Suetonius

Waiting. Waiting is fun when you have to read Plutarch and Suetonius. Throw a bit of Appian in the mix and your golden! Except when you have to write an essay when your are done reading, and I really don't want to write this essay. It is about the Triumphs of Julius Caesar, and the reading is really quite interesting, but I still can't motivate myself to write. The thing is, this essay was due on February 17th. Ya, I know... this is majorly  over do. The wonder of having a bone infection is that you always feel like you have been smooshed by a piano falling from the umptenth floor, which means that you get all the extensions for university assignments that your little heart could ever desire. The goal is that you will feel better several weeks after the assignments is due, and then write it so it is over and done with. But if things don't go the way you want them to, as is what happened to me, you don't feel better. It's not that you don't intend to write the essay, because for all intensive purposes that desire is there, but on the odd occasion were you do feel semi-good, you get so excited that you go and do something that actually is fun. But now I am stuck. Classes have ended and the end of the term is speeding towards me like a run away freight train , and I have to write this paper while surgery is looming ahead of me. I don't really want surgery, I don't think anyone does, but I know that I need it which makes me kind of want it, if that makes any sense. However, to get to surgery I have to write this essay, and I really think essays are to much of a bother to give any attention to. I am also stuck in anther as aspect. I am a good student, And excellent student. My marks are to die for. Literally, they are that good. But I have this horrible fear of failure. If I don't write the essay, I will fail but I will fail because I couldn't be bothered to complete the assignment. Vs. If I do complete the assignment there is the possibility of failure. The kicker is that if you follow the instructions there is no way to get below 70%. The whole thing is in my head! But I digress.

The main point of this post was to describe what will happen during surgery. Its really straightforward in my opinion. From what I was told, the surgeon will open part of previous incision site. He will use x rays during surgery and my latest MRI and CT scans to determine were the dead bone is, and take it, along with any suspicious looking tissue out. He will keep his fingers crossed that the bone doesn't break. If it does, things turn in a whole new direction e.g. external fixation, so I am really hoping that doesn't happen. The dilemma is as followed: the surgeon has to take out all of the dead bone, and by that I mean all, otherwise the infection won't go away. In order to do so, he also needs to take out a bit extra to create what he calls a "bleeding bone'. This means that the living bone is 'exposed'. The bone will think it needs to heal itself, so will fill in the space left by the bone taken out. It also means that the IV antibiotics will reach the necessary places. As the surgeon said "The goal is to kill the infection from both ends - with the patch in the leg, and through the IV antibiotics. The tricky part is knowing how much bone to take out. Take out to little and the dead stuff will be left behind which means I won't get better, but take out to much and the bone breaks. I won't know the results until after I wake up in the post-op recovery room. After all the dead bone and tissue is gone, the surgeon will put in an antibiotic patch, which will dissolve on its own over the course of several weeks, and then close me back up. If all goes as planned I will do six weeks of IV antibiotics and then maybe a few months of oral antibiotics, and the bone will regrow and all will be done with.

I was a bit bummed out this morning, when I woke up at five am to get a glass of water. I kept thinking, if surgery hadn't been rescheduled, I would have been in the car on the way to the hospital by now. I was joking about all the medical stuff with my mom earlier this afternoon. I said that if I was awaiting something fun, like going to an amusement park or on holiday, waiting a week would not be so bad. I would have another week to anticipate all the fun things I would do. But with surgery, it is about getting it over as soon as possible for me. Although it is an interesting experience, I could really do without it. Hopefully the time in between now and the 18th flies by quickly, not that time ever changes, cause, you know, its time! I can't wait to get on with my life once all of this is over in a few months =)