Who said being chronically ill couldn't be fun?

Here is the start of my "warped sense of fun for the chronically ill' list. Half way in one go isn't bad. I should go sleep though... if I dare. There is a jumping spider roaming around somewhere in my room... just waiting, waiting I imagine to crawl on to me once I fall asleep...

1) Seeing how many vials of blood are taken at once and then observing how big the bruises from having blood work done become. Always the worst when the nurse jabs the needle in or wriggles it around in your arm.

2) All the fun things you get to do around hospital appointments, scans, etc. It's not a doctor's appointment with a diversion to IKEA. No way! It's definitely an appointment to IKEA with a detour to the doctor.

3) Being able to observe the often comical and sometimes idiotic thinking and behavior of med students! Some residence should be banned from ever becoming doctors. I hate to think what the bedside manner of some of them is. I mean, there was one from somewhere in the middle east working with my old surgeon. He wouldn't even look at me, let alone shake my hand! I think it had something to do with my being a woman...

4) Having contests with your friends to name things like your PICC line. For example, we concluded that my chronic osteomyelitis should definitely be called Boris cause, you know, Boris is so boring. Get it?

5) While in the hospital, listening to the drug induced ravings of other patients. e.g., "Help! Help! I'm being trapped under a computer!"

6) Scaring all the nurses with your seriously low blood pressure after surgery. I know, I know, that really isn't funny at all, but since they got to see me use a bedpan ( several times may I add? TMI?) I had to get back at them somehow.

7) Being able to choose which movie you want to watch during your MRI, and then, when you only get half way through, watching the second half during your next MRI. (I look forward to the end of Sherlock Holmes BTW).

8) Creeping people out with your scars or healing incisions. My god though. They just get a glimpse of it. I actually have to live with it. The expressions are priceless (evil grin inserted here).

9) Wondering where that mysterious bruise on your inner thigh came from. You know, the one you didn't have going into surgery several hours earlier...

10) Exploring the joys of showering when neither your right arm nor your right leg can get wet. Duct tape and garbage bags are your friends! That's right, duct tape is not loner only the handyman's best tool. It is that of those with chronic bone infections as well! Red Green would be so proud =P