Time has been passed

Well then... *crickets*

That is pretty much how I feel about todays appointment.
I do not know which words to use to describe what was said and what it means for me.


My surgeon is awesome, but the words coming out of his mouth sucked. They sucked a lot.
I want to scream in anger; cry in frustration; feel relief because now I know that something, once more, is going on, despite the good WBC scan and  blood work... that their is a connection between the abscesses on my shin and the muscle pain in my calf and the x rays from Wednesday, the bone scan from  two weeks ago, and the MRI from December 2014.

I am disheartened that this is still going on almost nine years later. 
I don't know how things will work out now.
I am shocked at how different the opinions of my surgeon and infectious disease specialist are.
Enough is enough. It is not fair.
My new outlook -  stop caring about it at all and just do what the doctors tell me to do, how to do it, and when they want me to do it.

At least, that is what I want my outlook to be, but... at the end of the day, I still care. I care very very much. I worry and I hope and I try to anticipate what will happen next. And I believe that there has to be away for this to go away.