A-moose-ment

When you have as much free time as I do right now, boredom eventually sets in. It happens no matter how well you prepared to keep your self occupied in advance, and I prepared pretty damn well if you remember the bag of stuff and things to do that I posted about in August. At this point, it doesn't take very much to amuse me.

Like getting my box of winter hats from the shelf in my closet and finding this beauty....

My hat is a source of great amusement.
Or should I say a-moose-ment.

*groans*
I will shut up now XD

What begins with B? Bored!

I have way too much free time on my hands.
Scratch that.
All of my time is free time.
Other than my imaginary obligation to binge watch all four seasons of Walking Dead on Netflix before season five is released in two weeks, and the occasional appointment with my surgeon or infectious disease specialist, plus the personal hygiene thing I discussed in the previous post, I got all the time in the world.
Mind you, about half that time is spent sleeping...
But still, that is a hell of a lot of free time.
And 99.9% of that is sitting on my butt. Thank god for pillows and baggy pajama pants.

To convey just exactly how much free time I have, I am going to post some pictures below. Pictures I took with my webcam. The webcam that is built into my laptop and that I have used maybe once since I got my computer almost a year ago.

Not only have I discovered the webcam (and the amazing feats it performs, like acting as a mirror when you are doing your hair and to lazy to actually get up and get to a mirror), but also all the weird effects you can add to the pictures or videos you take with it.

Here are some of the results:

Some of them are just fun. Look at that cutie to the left!

Perfect for the fall weather outside right now!

Can't wait to get back to school (hopefully in May) and and write my certification exam once I graduate. I am going to be an awesome nurse after all that I have been through.



Finally! A way I can express my frustration with my leg to the world.

But then some of them get kind of weird. I can't think of any reason why anyone would ever need some of these effects...

Struggling with my inner demons (aka to eat or not to eat more chocolate).

 I don't even...

And then I realized that you could mix certain effects together...

Anyways, now that you have seen way more pictures of me than you ever wanted to, and probably think that I am a little bit self absorbed...
Seriously though, I am bored.
Bored bored bored.

I miss school. I miss my friends. I miss being able to shower normally, make myself a cup of tea, do my own laundry. But more than anything, I miss being able to get up on my own two feet and go for a walk. I know that this is only temporary and that things will get better, but it is still dificult to deal with in the short term. Right now, six months from now doesn't seem temporary. It feels like a life time away. And given my track record with the infection, I still have doubts about whether or not this treatment option will work. I just have to stay positive. I mean, there are only so many times I can fall into the 1% of patient who have something go wrong before I am in the 99% where things go right, right? Right!

And in the meantime, I can keep messing around with the effects on my webcam and binge watching Netflix.

Five things I`m planning

All of my previous surgeries required relatively short recover period in comparison with the ones I will likely have this fall. the first surgery was at the start of October 2006. I was off of crutches and walking unassisted by Christmas that year, putting the recovery period at just over two and a half months. Surgery two was at the start of September 2008. I was walking on my own in about two months. The last surgery, number three, was mid April 2011 - I was up and walking without crutches within a month.

When I have surgery number four, I will be unable to walk on my leg until the fifth surgery. Given previous experiences, I reckon it will be about another month after the fifth surgery before I am walking unaided again. I am therefore looking at approximately four months of sitting on my butt doing nothing...

... except I don't want to be doing nothing for four months. So I am trying to think of things to do - as of now I have a list of five big things I want to do:

1) Binge watch the fifth season of the Walking Dead on Netflix when it comes out this fall.

2) Learn to knit (I regret not doing this when I had eight months off between completing my Bachelors degree and the start of the nursing program I am in).

3) Complete all of the embroidery squares on the afghan blanket I bought a few years ago - I somehow constantly pick out embroidery patterns and colours but never get to actually working on it. I hope this project will keep me busy and be meaningful once I have recovered - hopefully a symbol of finally getting over this infection (It will be ten years before the bone graft process is complete).

4) Make a giant dent in my ever growing (despite my attempts to purge) collection of books. I would like to read the Pickwick Papers and Nicholas Nickleby by Dickens ad re-read The Lord of the Rings.

5) Review the Latin I learned in University. You know what people say - If you don't use it, you lose it! Latin is also great for nursing - helps with medication names and body parts, so I feel I am doing at least a little something that is useful.

I want to make my time off meaningful. It is devastating to have to pause my nursing education, and to be left behind as my peers move forward, especially those in my clinical group. I hope these activities will be comforting and relaxing, and help me get through something I really don't want to do, even though I know it is necessary and unavoidable. In my mind I see pain and worry ahead, but I also see myself sitting on a porch in the early fall, basking in the warm air and sun, leg propped up with a Penny Press puzzle book while I drink tea and watch the leaves slowly turn to yellow an gold.

Alright... this is likely not going to happen most day. I will spend the first week or so after surgery propped in bed watching tv or sleeping. But I need an ideal to keep me sane and from deciding to not go with the surgeries. The ultimate goal is to get rid of the osteomyelitis. To do that I need these surgeries, and imagining I can sit in the sun with a book after between surgeries four and five will help me go through with it.