Appointments tomorrow

Clean! Again!
And that can only mean one thing.
I am leaving the house tomorrow to go see my doctors.
It is actually a bit of an exaggeration to say that I don't leave the house (or shower) unless I am going to the hospital. Today, for instance, I went with my mum to the car dealership to test drive a new car, and then out to get some goodies to eat (because I totally deserve junk food for sitting on my butt all day). But I didn't shower (although I did on Saturday). I just put on a hat. There. Problem solved.

And then I showered this evening again. I even used my loofah on the toes of my leg in a cast.
In all seriousness, everything takes ten times longer and loads more energy when you are on crutches/have a cast/can only put weight on one leg. Being able to do things quickly and for ourselves is something I think many of us take for granted. In many ways, this is a very sobering experience and helps us get our priorities straight. Life should not always be one big rush.

Anyways, I am getting side tracked here.
Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my infectious disease specialist. Here is to hoping that the sample taken in surgery grew something. The surgeon took fifteen samples. I only need one to grow something. That's not asking very much, so I hope we get something out of it! That was supposed to be it for tomorrow.

But it's not.

About a week and a half ago, I saw my surgeon for my post op appointment and had the nasty heavy plaster back slab cast thing swapped for a fiberglass patella tendon bearing cast. A day later I ended up in emerge because my toes were going tingling and going numb, and all around discomfort in my leg. The doctor I saw cut one side of the cast open to allow for swelling and then wrapped the cast in ace bandages to hold it together. He told me to follow up with my surgeon before walking in the cast and to see if the cast needed to be replaced. Then commence the long weekend. I called the fracture clinic Tuesday morning, leaving a detailed message about what happened, and asking if I should come in or not. Nobody ever called me back. I tried a different number this morning, which got me through the my surgeons office instead of the fracture clinic. The receptionist was very friendly and helpful. I explained the situation but she said no message had been passed on to her. She put me on hold for a while to make some calls. When she got back, she said I can see my surgeon tomorrow at the other hospital he works at since I've already been waiting over a week since I was in emerge and Friday is still quite a way off from now. Awesome! Two bird with one stone. Erm... or two appointments with only one drive instead of having to drive up on both Tuesday and Friday. The first appointment is at 9:30 and the other is not until 1:00, but I am sure mum and I will find some way to amuse ourselves. If nothing else, I will treat her to coffee or some of that delicious hospital cake I love so much!

So tomorrow will be a good day: See infectious disease, see my surgeon, get a new cast, probably new x rays, get out of the house, and something good to eat.

Fingers crossed that all goes well!

Day Twelve

I had an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon today. The appointment. The one I have been waiting for, expecting to schedule surgery. Infectious disease gave me the all clear. I had talked it over with my mum, gave it though and consideration over many weeks, made my decision, came to terms with it, and was ready. But surgery has not been scheduled. I was angry. I was grumpy. I cried in the car. I am deflated. I am sad. I am too young for this. I have been through too much. And I don't want to type it all out tonight, so I won't. Perhaps tomorrow.

On a different note, I found out when and where my clinical placement will be this upcoming semester. I am very pleased with the hospital I will be working at, and the week day is amazing (Thursdays!) so I will come home to St. Catharines for 3 whole days (Thursday evening to Sunday evening).

On the way home mum and I went to Gage Park. There is a greenhouse there that we wanted to see (I have heard good things from a classmate who takes her children there). It was beautiful! Plants in the shape of dolphins, a turtle, and an elephant. There were very large gold fish and two types of parrots. The park itself had many fir trees - smelled like a lovely fresh damp forest.

Back in St. Catharines we stopped at Book Outlet - got some books I was on the fence about yesterday. I got:

The Landmark Thucydides: A Comprhensive Guide to the Peloponesian War
and
Zeus: Grants Stupid Wished: A No-bullshit Guide to World Mythology

The second one is my bed time reading for tonight - a good hard laugh to ease the tension and disappointment of today's appointment.

My best friend, Beth, who I have known since the start of high school way back in 2006 came over tonight. We watch Fringe on Netflix and ate pizza and cheesecake. I am so incredibly fortunate to have a friend like her!

Mum is amazing helping me work through everything, being there at appointments and to support me. I couldn't do this without her. This morning she also helped me move some stuff to my new place in Hamilton (see likes room I am subletting). Only have clothing, textbooks, and food (and myself of course) left to move on Sunday evening. We also found a lovely bakery in Westdale that sells delicious fresh chocolate croissants. Tomorrow we go together to a rummage sale and Niagara-on-the-Lake. We will drive in the country, amongst the orchards and see the trees bloom, white and red flowers.

Appointment tomorrow

Tomorrow morning I see my orthopedic surgeon. Mum and I will be asking him to schedule surgery since we got the go ahead from my infectious disease specialist last week. We have some questions about less invasive surgical options, but I think our minds are set. We know which option we want. Any questions are simply there to solidify our decision.

I didn't sleep well last night. I have generally been going to bed earlier and waking up at 10 am every day, working on getting it back to 8 am for when school starts next week, but today, despite setting my alarm for 9 and my desire to get up, I slept until noon. I was just to tired to get out of bed. Even opening my eyes felt like a chore. When I did get up I had a headache - it waxed and wane on and off all day. I haven't had any night sweats in about a week, which is lovely, but today my nightshirt was a bit wet round the base of my neck and I felt way to hot. I also had horrible dreams, some of which were about surgery.

I did go to Book Outlet today. I have been meaning to do this since late last week. Going there seems to have become somewhat of  a "yay, I survived finals and passed all my courses" kind of tradition.
Mum drove me and I took the bus home (lucky I looked at the signs in the terminal - the platforms have changed again! Otherwise I would have ended up on the number 8 bus instead of the 2). Mum noted that I sounded tired today. I couldn't agree more. We talked a bit about the bone infection on the way to the store. I mentioned how calm and relaxed I feel; how wonderful these two weeks off have been and how I am feeling refreshed and looking forward to starting second semester on Monday. I then mentioned how unfazed I feel about tomorrow's appointment; how the entire bone infection isn't bothering me right now - taking each day at a time, it's just life, how it is. She asked me to explain what I meant. I hadn't thought much of my feeling until she asked me to explain them. Forced to verbalize the reasoning behind my feelings, it hit me - I said "We have been through this so many times before, being ill, waiting for appointments, scans, surgery, etc, it has become normal. There isn't any point to worrying about something that has become part of our lives and is now normal". This would seem like a really depressing statement (that being ill and all that entails is just part of every day life) but I don't look at it that way. I just see myself navigating through life, like everybody else has to, with slightly different obstacles than my peers. Our goals are still the same in the end. The paths we take are just different.

On a different note, I got some lovely books today that I look forward to reading. I am going to try two read twenty pages before I go to sleep each night. I miss reading for pleasure. Whatever I don't get through will be waiting on my nightstand for me when I have surgery in the fall.

The books I got today are:

"Viking Age Iceland" by Jesse Byock
"Bulfinch's Mythology" by Thomas Bulfinch (I might be a nursing student now, but the history/classics nerd within me is still alive and reading!)
"The Street Philosopher" by Matthew Plampin
and a book on yoga for beginners to help with relaxation and stress management. To be completely honest, through, I have kind of always wanted to try yoga, even before I became ill.

I also got some lovely new sticky notes with birds and flowers on them for the new semester - brighten up all my notes and binders. Oh, and on the way home I stopped at Fine & Grind Cafe. I got a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. It was scrumptious.

Passing the time

I will update the last few days during the upcoming weekend.

I see my orthopedic surgeon tomorrow afternoon. His secretary initially wanted me to come in at 10 am, but I have clinical in the morning. I take what is going on with my leg really seriously, but I can't  miss school, especially not clinical, where my new skills come into practice. Nursing is not the same as  my university degree. I could afford to miss the odd history lecture because I could make up the work on my own. This doesn't work when you have to practice musculoskeletal assessments or how to take vital signs. So I will see my surgeon at 3pm instead. Seeing him doesn't mean I am having surgery. He is just the next best person to see while my infectious disease specialist is out of town. The surgeon and ID specialist communicate a lot, so I have no worries in seeing him instead of her. Also, he did a really good job on my leg (not his fault that something is going on now).

For now I am having a drink and studying some anatomy before bed. I hardly ever drink, but after this week I think I deserve (and need) some stress relief.
Excited for tomorrow morning. Not so much for tomorrow afternoon...