Appointment tomorrow

Tomorrow morning I see my orthopedic surgeon. Mum and I will be asking him to schedule surgery since we got the go ahead from my infectious disease specialist last week. We have some questions about less invasive surgical options, but I think our minds are set. We know which option we want. Any questions are simply there to solidify our decision.

I didn't sleep well last night. I have generally been going to bed earlier and waking up at 10 am every day, working on getting it back to 8 am for when school starts next week, but today, despite setting my alarm for 9 and my desire to get up, I slept until noon. I was just to tired to get out of bed. Even opening my eyes felt like a chore. When I did get up I had a headache - it waxed and wane on and off all day. I haven't had any night sweats in about a week, which is lovely, but today my nightshirt was a bit wet round the base of my neck and I felt way to hot. I also had horrible dreams, some of which were about surgery.

I did go to Book Outlet today. I have been meaning to do this since late last week. Going there seems to have become somewhat of  a "yay, I survived finals and passed all my courses" kind of tradition.
Mum drove me and I took the bus home (lucky I looked at the signs in the terminal - the platforms have changed again! Otherwise I would have ended up on the number 8 bus instead of the 2). Mum noted that I sounded tired today. I couldn't agree more. We talked a bit about the bone infection on the way to the store. I mentioned how calm and relaxed I feel; how wonderful these two weeks off have been and how I am feeling refreshed and looking forward to starting second semester on Monday. I then mentioned how unfazed I feel about tomorrow's appointment; how the entire bone infection isn't bothering me right now - taking each day at a time, it's just life, how it is. She asked me to explain what I meant. I hadn't thought much of my feeling until she asked me to explain them. Forced to verbalize the reasoning behind my feelings, it hit me - I said "We have been through this so many times before, being ill, waiting for appointments, scans, surgery, etc, it has become normal. There isn't any point to worrying about something that has become part of our lives and is now normal". This would seem like a really depressing statement (that being ill and all that entails is just part of every day life) but I don't look at it that way. I just see myself navigating through life, like everybody else has to, with slightly different obstacles than my peers. Our goals are still the same in the end. The paths we take are just different.

On a different note, I got some lovely books today that I look forward to reading. I am going to try two read twenty pages before I go to sleep each night. I miss reading for pleasure. Whatever I don't get through will be waiting on my nightstand for me when I have surgery in the fall.

The books I got today are:

"Viking Age Iceland" by Jesse Byock
"Bulfinch's Mythology" by Thomas Bulfinch (I might be a nursing student now, but the history/classics nerd within me is still alive and reading!)
"The Street Philosopher" by Matthew Plampin
and a book on yoga for beginners to help with relaxation and stress management. To be completely honest, through, I have kind of always wanted to try yoga, even before I became ill.

I also got some lovely new sticky notes with birds and flowers on them for the new semester - brighten up all my notes and binders. Oh, and on the way home I stopped at Fine & Grind Cafe. I got a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. It was scrumptious.