Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Midterms are coming

And I wouldn't have it any other way. No matter how stressful they may seem, I rather have midterms and the satisfcation of knowing that I am able to complete my education than the mind numbing bordem that became sitting at home regrowing my tibia.

We take so many things for granted, as if being in school or writing exams is just a given part of life. But it's so much more than just a given. To have the ability to get up in the morning is huge; that ability allows us to do so much, pretty much anything we want to. That's what comes to my mind when I overhear my classmates complaining about how horrible exams are. Sure, I  join in on the complaining and whinning and lamenting and wishing I could drop out just to never see another multiple choice scantron sheet in my life, but deep down I appreciate all the miterms because I am able to do them.

So mid terms are coming. They take up a hell of a lot of time and probably cause the very stress, late night and horrible junk food eating habits that nurses  teach patients to avoid. But they are here. And I can do them. Not only do I have the brains to write them, but I actually ahev the ability to walk into that class room and be there. In the mean time, I'll just drink tea and make funny faces at myself in the mirror.

Updates are coming

I haven't posted anything on here in about three months. I wish I could say that time got away from me, or that I had some really good excuses to neglect my blog, but neither would be true. I realized exactly how much time was passing; I just couldn't be bothered to type anything out. No point lying to myself or anyone reading this.

Truth be told, I needed a good long break from blogging. Not blogging perse. I actually really enjoy blogging. No, I just needed a nice long break from the subject matter - my health - that I had been blogging about for so long. Medical problems and surgeries make for heavy writing matterial.

In a way, I kind of regret the break. The goal of this blog was always to keep a record of events, and up until that point that record was pretty thorough. Impressively so, in my book, especially considering how much time I spent in a narcotic induced haze. But it all started getting to me right around the time the fixator came off. So much of my life has been focused around my health over the last decade. I wanted wait, scratch that, needed to feel normal and healthy, and that meant not blogging about my leg even though I still had to deal with it on a daily basis. So I took break and here we are, three months later.

Things with my leg are going well. I've been off of antibiotics for a little under four months. I haven't had any really signs of infection. It's kind of hard to say that, because I'm still getting used to the way my leg is now. There's still a lot of numbness in my leg, for one thing. I'm not sure if I will ever get all of that feeling back. Only time will tell for sure. As a result, it's hard to figure out which feelings are normal or not. And at this point, my legs been through so much that some pain and discomfort is normal, and probably will be for the rest of my life. On top of that, my bone is still growing and hardning, and that causes quite a bit of pain and discomfort. How do I distinguish between the new permanent normal kind of pain, bone growing pain, and potentially abnormal pain? It's kind of hard to say... Furthermore, I'm a bit antsy about the whole matter. And by that I mean every little ache and pain has me worrying if the infection is back or not. Given how long I had the infection and all the miserable stuff it put me through, this is normal and to be expected. It doesn't mean it doesn't suck, because it totally does. But worrying about what exactly is causing pain or discomfort and why is a fact of life when you have lived with something for so long and your doctor's can't give you a 100% guarentee that you have actually beaten it. So in the mean time I watch and wait and try to get on with life as best as I can.

That hasn't actually been too hard to do. The nursing program I am in accepted me back now that my health is back on track. I'm curretly half way through the third (of four) semesters. I'm even able to complete my twelve hour clinical shifts (albeit with compression stockings, a mixture of tylenol and ibuprofen, my cane, and ample of extra opprotunities to site down whenever I need to). Midterm exams are coming up on Wednesday. Following that, I am going on a very well earned vacation. Yes! That's right! I'm going on holiday. It's hard to imagine that a little under five month ago I was still sitting at home with that shiny blue hunkof metal securely attached to my leg, and now I am going on vacation. I haven't been on holiday in nearly a decade. After all that's happened over the last year, I need one. I will be crossing over to the United Stated for eight days to visit my boyfriend. I'm leaving early Friday afternoon. I'm both excited and a bit aprehensive about the traveling. On the one hand, I'm really enthusiastic about taking the train (I'll be taking a train for an hour and a half, followed by an hour layover, and then a bus ride for just over an hour before being picked up by my boyfriend and crossing the boarder), but I'm nervous about travelling alone in an unfamiliar city with what essentially still is a gimpy leg (because no matter how much improvement I have made over the last five months, I would be kidding myself if I said my leg was normal at this point). We're going camping this weekend and have a bunch of fun stuff planned for next week (amsement park, haunted hay ride, bookstore - because I am that much of a nerd). Despite making it through four years of university and half of the nursing program, I've never been away during reading week. I worked super head up until now so I could go on holiday and not have to worry about any school work during the week off. It's going to be a fantastice holiday and it's going to help me feel like a normal, healthy person.

I have been working on several updates for this blog. I hope to get some up on Thursday, but make no guarentees. Between studying for exams tomorrow, actually exams on Wednesday, and packing on Thursday, it might be hard to squeeze in some person blogging time. But the intent it there. Until then, I just wanted to leave you with some pictues. On the left, me five months ago when I still had external fixator, completely unable to walk; On the right, at the hospital for a twevle hour clinical shift, no longer the one reciving the care, this time prividng it XD.




Saturday, July 16, 2016

A simple joy

You don't fully understand what it means to not be able to walk until you come across a skunk and realize that you can't run away. XD

I walked for thirty-five minutes this evening. That's a new record for me.
Scratch that. Not only is it a new record time-wise, but in that time I walked around my entire neighborhood.
Yeah, that's right. I walked around the entire neighborhood.
Never mind that I was able to walk that distance in twenty minutes prior to this entire leg fiasco or that I am now completely spent after doing it.
Two months ago I wasn't able to walk at all.
This, my friends, is what we call progress.

This update brought to you by: My trusty cane.
I would like to thank my cane. It helps me balance. When I am exhausted it offers some degree of support (even though we all know that canes are not supposed to offer physical support). Most importantly, it is a stylish fashion accessory. Sans cane I am a hobbler. I would be very much lost without it and is deserves some recognition. So here's to my cane!

Now if only the muscles in my ankle would sort them self out and stop hurting, I would be one happy gal. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy irregardless of what my ankle does. I mean, two months ago the idea of putting one foot down in front of the other was completely foreign to me and now I'm able to do it several thousand times in a row before needing a good long rest. So by no means am I complaining. I'm just saying that it would be the cherry on top if my ankle would stop hurting. Like everything else, this should sort itself out with time. One does not simply walk without pain after being fully non-weight bearing for nine months.

On a serious note though, things are going exceptionally well. Physiotherapy was so happy with me this week that she said I don't have to come back for another three weeks. In her opinion, all the components of walking properly are there; now it's just a matter of building up strength and endurance. Hearing that is pure happiness. As previously mentioned, I still hobble like crazy without my cane, but with it my walking ability it near perfect. My knee bends accordingly; I have good toe-to-heal action going on; my hips and shoulders are level. Now the muscles just need to build up or, as I like to say, un-atrophy.  Over the next weeks I am supposed to continue my exercises and walk everyday. On top of that, I am supposed to slowly increases the amount of time I can walk for (ultimate goal here is an hour). And added to that, in about a week and a half I can start walking around the house without my cane (permitting that I don't hobble or lurch around too much without it).

In all honesty, I don't always notice the progress as it happens. There are stretches of day, sometimes even weeks, where I feel like I'm not getting anywhere at all. This entire process is slow and frustrating. I see other people, especially other young adults, out and about, running, hopping, having fun, their bodies doing what ever they desire them to. Mine doesn't, and it won't for some time yet. I have been patient and stuck at home for so long, hindered by physical limitation, that it is hard to tell myself to be patient a little while longer. My brain is running ahead and doesn't like to pause for my body to catch up. This process can be infuriating. But then, all of a sudden, there is a whole slew of things I realize that can do or am improving at. I can not describe the feeling of wonder, satisfaction, accomplishment that sets in when I discover what I can do. While out with my mum yesterday, I told here that of everything I have ever done and will ever do in my life, getting through the past year and learning to walk again will be my greatest accomplishments. These are the things that I am most proud of. It makes me reevaluate what is truly important in life. Education is important and necessary, getting a good job secures a stable and comfortable future, but there are so many joys to be had just from the simple ability of being able to walk. It is beautiful and so so so rewarding. I have a feeling it's one of those things you can only truly stop taking for granted once you've already lost the ability to do it. Those are my thoughts on the matter, anyways.

Going to bed very happy tonight. Tired, but oh so happy.  Time for a cup of tea, to finish reading Lord of the Rings, and a good long sleep.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Paper butterfly mobile

I spent the last few days making a mobile out of origami butterflies. Call it one of the perks about hobbling and having squishy bone inside your leg. At most, I'm able to walk for thirty minutes (well, at least if I want to go at a decent speed, probably a bit more if I walk really slowly or take lots of break - this girl loves the site of a bench these days!), so there's lots of time spent sitting around at home. What better way to spend that time than working on crafts? That, or reading.

I found the instructions for the butterflies on Pinterest. I bought the big metal rings (Dollarama) and paper (Dollar Tree) specifically for this project, albeit a very long time ago, and the beads, ribbon and thread were regular parts of my craft supply stash. I came up with the design of the mobile myself and don't think I could be more pleased with it! It's lovely to sit on my bed and watch the butterflies gently swaying and turning in the breeze.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Berries, stitching, hobbling

Berry picking is good physiotherapy - it requires a lot of balance and coordination. It's also really delicious. I got an entire bowl full today, and a large mixing bowl the other day. There are still plenty more on the bush in the garden, but they aren't really to be picked yet. My mum and I are going to try to make jam with them this week. Fingers crossed for glorious, delicious raspberry jam!
 Fingers stained reddish purple.
On another note, I finished another (albeit far smaller) cross stitch project last week. The frame is to big, so I need to get a smaller one, but I really wanted to see how it looked framed. I also still need to press it so it lies completely flat - ironing alone didn't do the trick. Nonetheless, I love it! For those interested, it is the Seashore Sample by Madeleine Floyd and took approximately fifty hours to stitch.
I'm now onto the final cross stitch project that I wanted to complete before school begins in September and a return to normal life. I'm craving that return. I feel like I've been shut up in this house for ages. The loneliness and isolation have by far been the most difficult part of this entire fiasco. That, and wondering if I will ever recover and return to normal. I'm starting to get a bit desperate; having school to look forward to is immensely important. It's like this one thing I've been cloning to for months and months, no matter how horrible I felt, discouraged I was, or the news I got from my doctors/surgeon. And now it's almost within grasp, just a little longer. The butterfly project will help me get there. If taking a year out of my life for health issues was good for anything, it was making a dent in my pile of cross stitch projects. Several big ones and a many smaller ones are now complete - my place is going to look so lovely when I move out.

Speaking of school and a return to normal, my walking is improving every day. I wouldn't say I can really walk without my cane yet - it's more a hobble than anything else. Yeah, that's right, I'm a hobbler. But things are going really well with the cane. On Thursday I walked for half an hour. Thirty whole minutes. And I'm not exaggerating that either or rounding up to make it sound better. I timed myself, so I know that I actually walked thirty minutes. The goal physio has set for me is and hour, so I'm well on my way.

On a final note, I decorated my cane. It just looked so drab. Drab, sad... Not as drab as my crutches looked, but not nice either. Also, it seems like a good number of people in this city all own the exact same kind of cane. I don;t know how many times now I have been out and caught myself thinking "Hey, that guy has the same can as me!" I thought it would be nice to make mine look a bit different. Plus I'm young. Young people shouldn't need canes, and if they do they should be hip and fun. It's amazing what a difference a bit of ribbon and tape can do!

Thursday, June 30, 2016

The things I get up too

Shenanigans at Ikea last October. This is the stuff you do when you are missing a chunk of your tibia. I just got this picture from my mum and couldn't not share it with you. It's proof that no matter how icky the situation, there is always a reason to laugh and smile. The situation is whatever you make of it.
I will now continue pecking away like a drunken chicken, trying to catch up on everything I didn't post about over the last two months.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Art in the Garden

I went to a Painting in the Garden party with my mum this evening. It's exactly what it sounds like - a group of people getting together to paint outside. It was lovely. Other than a few little wooden crates and a mini letter box that I painted white a few years back, I haven't done any painting since high school. I forgot how much fun it could be. The nice thing about painting for the hell of it is that you don't have to worry about technique or meeting project guidelines. You can just do whatever your heart desires. It also doesn't matter how good the end result is. Half the fun is just letting loose, experimenting and enjoying the process (read: get paint everywhere!). I was quite weary of going at first, but I am so glad that I did. I never thought it would be so much fun XD

Me, working on my painting.
The finished project:
I thought that we would just be learning different brush stroked with a paint brush, but in the end the only part we used a brush for was to paint the edges of the canvas. First we covered the canvas in a layer of material that would give it a rough, uneven texture. Then we dropped blobs of paint over the canvas and used putty knives to spread the paint and mix the colours together, repeated several times over with different combinations of colours. Next we added the stems and leaves, followed by the centers of the flowers (I used my fingers for that part). After that I used a metal sponge to add the flower petals and then I used my fingers to dab on glitter glue. It was only then that I picked up a brush to paint the canvas's edges. And voila! It might not be as good as Van Gogh or Monet, but I loved doing it. And it sparkles. XD

This week is the first one in a long, long time that is jam packed full of fun, none health related stuff. Today was painting, tomorrow my best friend comes over, and Friday I celebrate living in Canada for twenty years (plus it will be Canada Day and that means there will be fireworks). Add to that a trip to the bookstore yesterday and a walk (albeit a short one) in the neighborhood, and I am one busy girl. A happy girl. I am knackered. I have very little endurance and walking is both physically and mentally exhausting, but it feels great to be doing "normal" things again.

As for my leg itself, I have lots to update about. My goal for tomorrow is to catch up on some stuff I missed blogging about before the external fixator came off; this weekend I will focus on typing up an update about last weeks appointments with infectious disease and my orthopedic surgeon (hint - I get really fantastic news for the first time in a very long time).

Edit: Painting outside it interesting - a leaf just fell out of my hoodie. Also, ants like to walk over the canvas. Your first instinct is to shoo them away, but it's all good. They just add to the texture! 

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

A normal kind of thing

I took a walk this evening. Not a long walk. Nothing special. Not to anywhere in particular or for any specific reason. Just a simple, short walk around the neighborhood. Not even the entire neighborhood, in fact. Just a tiny bit. We're talking a walk that used to take a couple of minutes. Five minutes, tops. I don't know how long it took me today, but it was a lot longer than five minutes. I considered timing myself before hand, but opted not too. I just needed to feel normal. Whatever normal might mean. I wanted to be able to get out of my house like any other person can and just move wherever my feet would go. And so I did. I'm not going to lie, it took a long time and it hurt pretty badly. A good part of my tried convincing me not to go at all, and when I did start it insisted that I turn back home. But I was adamant that I do something, move, in the evening sun. I just wanted it to be like last summer, before I got so sick with the bone infection. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and to see how far I could go. So I did, and it felt good despite the pain in my leg. It was good pain, if that makes any kind of sense. It's hard to explain to people who have never had chronic medical problems, but those of you who have will understand. It is a pain that had a purpose (bone growing and hardening inside my leg) and that will lead to an ultimate goal - walking painfree, unaided and properly. One day it will happen.

For right now a short walk around the block is good enough. I just wanted to mark the occasion (as much of an un-occasion it actually is, after all it is just walking), because it was a big deal for me. My first purposeful walk outdoors without crutches in ten months. Just me, my feet, the sun and my cane. Glorious. I never want to forget how good re-discovering these little things feels.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Unimpressed

Bone pain making it hard to sleep tonight. I thought I would try curling up with a blanket in a rocking chair for a bit, see if I could nod off that way. No such luck. Unimpressed, new bone. I am unimpressed.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Let me tell you...

I vacuumed my bedroom today. Yeah, that's right. I vacuumed. Not my mum, not a friend, not a maid hired to clean for me, not some mystical being in my dreams. No. Me. It was needed. It was worth it. It was a joyous occasion. The heavens parted and the sun shown down on the mighty machine of cleaning. Angels sang, trumpets were played, babies stopped crying, candy rained down on children the world round and all was good.

There is a giant grin plastered on my face and a strong feeling of satisfaction deep within me. And I am excited to do it again XD It wouldn't surprise me if I was the only person in all known human history to get so excited about vacuum cleaning. But here we are, glorious.

All hail the might machine of clean!
 It also wouldn't surprise me if you all thought I had finally lost it. It wasn't the bone infection coming back. Nor was it the PICC line and all the accompanying allergic reactions. It wasn't loosing over six centimes of bone either or the giant metal pins that stuck out of my shin for six loooong months. And it definitely wasn't all the time spent on crutches, hobbling around, or endless hours sitting in my pajama pants while binge watching netflix. No. It was the vacuuming. My medical record will state "Patient lost her mind while vacuuming". =P

Just to clarify (you know, so you don't think that I have actually gone insane), I haven't been able to vacuum since before surgery number four, which was last August, a solid ten months ago. Heck, I haven't really been able to do any type of cleaning since then. And even before that I was kind of limited by the dreaded PICC line. So being able to clean my room by myself is a big, amazing feat. It means that I am getting better. Well, hopefully. We won't know for sure until I get more x-rays. But it is certainly a good sign. And aside from that, it feels good. I feel useful, like I am gaining some independence back, as if I can fend for myself. Words can not describe how good it feels to be able to do this thing alone.

Speaking of cleaning, I also dusted my room this afternoon. Sun shining inside, fresh air breezing through the open window, some good music playing in the background, a bucket of warm water and dust. Lots and lots of dust. Fat free dust (for laughter, click here). Oh, let me tell you - I cleaned the windowsill. The wash cloth turned black. Black as darkest night. It was so satisfying to see everything get cleaned.

On a related note, cleaning seems to be good physiotherapy. Shh, don't tell my mum. I'll never hear the end of it!

And on another note, laughter ensued when I told my mum how excited I was to clean. I said "I haven't been able to do this since before surgery". To which she retorted "Which one? The one in August, November, March or the extra trip to the OR in April?" We just stared at each other and burst out laughing. Only in the world of chronic medical problems can something like that be considered funny. It's actually not funny at all. The last year in particular was filled with so much pain, worry, fatigue, and... well, I could go on for a while. But that is how we cope. We get a morbid sense of humor and laugh at everything, no matter how bad. That's how we turn our lemons into lemonade.

Anyways, it was a good day. A fantastic day. It really is the little things that count =)

Thursday, June 16, 2016

An ode to bone pain

I get a lot of bone pain in my leg. This makes sense and at this point it's normal and to be expected - although technically filled in with new bone, the gap in my tibia is no where near finished growing yet. It will still be another six months or so before all that new bone turns into normal, healthy bone. Right now it is still squishy - it needs to harden more. And that means bone pain. It is frustrating beyond belief and, well,  like the name suggests painful. Nobody likes to be in pain, but bone pain is something different. It is deep and dull, achy. It becomes everything. When you have bone pain, it's hard to concentrate on anything else. It's also sly. As Gollum would say, it is tricksy. Sometimes it's not there, but it always sneaks up on you somehow. I have a lot of bone pain at night, which can make it hard to sleep sometimes. While tossing and turning last night, I came up with this poem.

Deep, dull, strong, achy
I feel it in my bones.
When I sitting.
As I'm standing.
While I'm laying down.
No matter what I'm doing.
It doesn't matter how I'm posing;
Bone pain can always come around.

Deep, dull, strong, achy
I feel it in my bones.
When I'm happy.
If I'm cranky.
Smiling, crying.
Laughing, signing.
Worry, hope and joy.
It doesn't matter how I'm feeling;
Bone pain is such a chore.

Deep, dull, strong, achy
I feel it in my bones.
With friends.
Doctor' visits.
Shopping in the mall.
Cooking, cleaning, reading, eating.
A night out on the town.
Or simply when I'm all alone.
It doesn't matter what I'm doing;
Bone pain likes to tag along.
 
Deep, dull, strong, achy
I feel it in my bones.
Sometimes absent.
Sometimes  missing.
Sometimes just not there.
But then it creeps right back again.
It's deep, dull, strong and achy
Takes me breathe away,
I'm taken by surprise.
And then I feel it deep down;
It is all the way inside my bones.

Saturday, June 04, 2016

My leg

So this is my leg now.
I'm not quite sure what I think of it yet. I've been calling it functional. It is a functional leg. Not fully functional, but I can hobble around the house and carry a cup of tea to my room, so for the time being I am content.

That's not entirely true. I wish I could walk and run and skip and jump. I wish I could leave the house in the morning and let my feet carry me wherever they might go. I wish that every step wasn't painful. I wish that every step didn't require my full concentration. I wish that my balance was better. I wish I could bound down the stairs in the morning to get the post out of the mail box. There's lots of things I wish I could do and not being able to do them is beyond frustrating. In my head I can walk perfectly; I see myself moving about with a spring in my step. But it doesn't translate into reality. My leg doesn't respond to what my mind is telling it to do.

But I can carry a cup of tea. That's something I've been harping on about for months: if I can carry a cup of tea, everything will be alright. It doesn't fix things, but it makes them better.

Just for comparison, here are a couple of pictures of my leg when I relapsed, while I was waiting for surgery, and between all the surgeries I had in the last nine months.

Relapse.
 
Last summer, some time in June when I was starting to feel a lot worse.
Post-op appointment in September. My tibia was held together with bone cement.
Last November, right before surgery number five.
Right after surgery number five.
 A couple months later; all the incisions are healed up nicely.
Sometime in March, after surgery number six.
Just under two months ago, in April, after one of my fixator pins was removed. Conscious sedation is so nice compared to general anesthesia.
And that brings us back to now. For anyone who is curious, the really long scar is 26 centimeters long.
The last picture amuses me a bit. Different sections of the scar are different colours. This has to do with when the incisions were made. The part of the incision near my knee, for instance, was made in November whereas the middle section of the scar is was made in March. On top of that, the section closer to my knee had never been operated on before. That section of scar has healed as a nice, thing white line. The middle section, however, has been operated on six times. It is thick and ropey. Meanwhile, I also have the scars from the fixator pins the tracked through my skin. They are just ugly, super thick and a dark shade of pink/purple. I think the new version of my leg is going to take some time to get used to. I am really glad that I took pictures over the course of all these months. It's fascinating to see how my leg has changed.


Wet feet

Something big happened on Thursday. Something exciting. Something that even trumped getting the external fixator taken off. And that's really saying something because getting the fixator removed was huge. I didn't think anything could trump that. But I stand corrected.

On Thursday I was able to shower without a garbage bag taped over my leg. Say what?!?! Both my feet got wet! And it felt soooooooooo good XD I can't even describe how amazing it was. The water was so warm and comforting. And I was able to use my loofah. Do you know how bad skin looks when it hasn't been washed in that long? Sure, I was rinsing my leg with a wash clothes and soapy water, but it's not the same. The skin gets flaky and it looks like your shedding dandruff everywhere all the time. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. And don't even get me started on the amount of mushy dead skin that came off of my foot when I got it wet for the first time. Most disgusting thing ever. But now it's clean!

I feel like Gollum dancing around with the one ring when he finally wrestled it from Frodo. My leg is like my precious.
For those new to the blog, here's the gist of things. I had something called an external fixator holding my leg together for six months in order to regrow six and a half centimeters of missing bone. It wasn't allowed to get wet (infection risk and what not). It came off on May 20th, but I had to wait until the pin sites completely healed before I was allowed to get wet. I've been anxiously waiting for them to heal. On Tuesday things were still looking a bit iffy - there were a couple of small scabs left on my shin. But by Thursday I was set to go! So happy XD

Who needs shampoo and body wash when you have duct tape and garbage bags? This was my set up for the last six months. But no more!
Aside from being able to get my leg wet (the water feels like heaven trickling over my skin), I'm really excited to no longer need the duct tape. It was like a mini wax job after every shower...

I still have to sit down when I shower. By balance is horrible and I'm still pretty unsteady on my feet. And I would be absolutely lost without the removable shower head. But this is already a tremendous improvement. I don't want to forget how good it feels to rediscover these little things. Little things that everyone takes for granted but actually make up what makes life great.

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

My army of...

This is my army of minions gnomes. Behold! They stand in their stoney glory.
And now for that cringe worthy, internal groan producing pun that we've all probably heard before somewhere on the internet: To gnome me is to love me.

That gets me grinning from ear to ear every single time.

And now for something completely different. As many of you know, I've been stuck at home for the last gazillion months. Growing bone takes a very long time, after all. As a result, I've developed a hint of cabin fever. And when I say a hint, I mean a full blown case of it. One of the ways I try to combat this is by getting out of the house everyday (or every other day, depending on how I'm feeling), even if it's just a quick trip to Walmart or a drive through the city. It doesn't really matter what I do, as long as I get out, feel the sun and see some other human beings. But another way I try to keep sane is by redecorating my room. Well, as much as possible when on crutches, anyways. This is one to the things I came up with over the winter:
I got the little mushroom decorations from Ikea, on sale after Christmas (0.50$ per box of eight). I've always had a thing for post cards and stationary, so I had lots of pretty things lying about to put up on the wall. And then I got colouring post cards last fall!
The fun part is, it's really easy to change things up now because the pictures are held up with little clothe hangers. I can take stuff down, add more, etc., whenever I need a change of scenery.

Also - look at the shiny things! XD Cheap cork board from Ikea, a bit of ribbon, some thumbtacks and a nail and you're all set to go.
Edit - speaking about gnomes, I found this beauty at a garden tour last spring:

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Pictures!

Picture time! I can only take pictures with my phone, so they aren't the best quality, but I really want to share them because the blanket was the one good, consistent thing I've relied on to get me through all these long months that never ever disappointed me (yeah, I'm looking at you, heterotopic ossification thing). Plus some little tidbits about making the blanket.

1) I used the same needle to stitch the entire thing. I'm pretty sure I've worn an entire layer of metal off of it by now It's gone from shiny and silver to dull and grey... might be time for a new needle now.

2) I kept little notes everywhere when I was working on the blanket. Some of the sections on the blanket were really easy because I used one pattern. This mean that I only had to find the center of the square and start stitching. Other sections, however, are made of bits of different patterns that I choose together. This required a lot of thought to map out (first on paper, then on the actual blanket with single strands of white thread to help guide me) and could be painfully time consuming. But it was the only way to guarantee that the images would be centered and everything would fit properly. Other times the pattern I choose would be to big for the square so I would have to alter things a little bit or take out small sections to get things to fit without ruining the overall design. I think it was well worth the effort. here are some of the notes I had lying about.
3) I also kept track of how many hours each square took to complete, hence the grid with numbers in the picture above.

4) Here are all the patterns I used to complete the project. There are twenty-one of them. Some of the patterns were used for multiple squares e.g., the fairy tale patter was used for three squares (the circle of flowers was originally only around the dress, but then I added it around the castle and Cinderella like coach as well), I used the pattern with laundry hanging on the square for two squares, etc.
5) Just to compare, a brand new never used before embroidery hoop on the left and the hoop I used to complete this project on the right. Look at that colour difference. The hoop I used used to look like the new hoop XD
6) I spent my tax return on embroidery supplies. *Shh. Don't tell!*
7) My next two project. I'm doing the Seashore sampler (left) first - I adore Madeleine Floyd's designs. After that I want to stitch the butterflies (right).
 8) I know where all the mistakes are in the blanket XD

9) Pictures of the overall blankets and each square:

A couple views of the finished project:
First square, twenty hours, three different patterns. I picked the colours.
Second square, fifteen hours (I know where the mistakes are in this one!), one pattern. Some of the flowers and hearts were cut off because they didn't fit in the square. I picked the colours.
Third square, twenty-five hours, three items from a series of patterns that went together. I picked the colours.
 
Fourth square, thirty hours, one patter. The patter was only a portion of the finished work. It took a long time to map this out and then I had to concentrate really hard to stitch the design nine times. I picked the colours.
Fifth square, twenty-five hours, several patterns from the same series. I picked the colours.
Sixth square, twenty-five hours, same as above. I picked the colours.
Seventh square, twenty hours, three different patterns. I picked the colours.
 Eight square, twenty hours, two hearts from the same series, each done twice. I picked the colours.
Ninth square, thirty hours, one pattern. I picked the colours. The lace work was amazing to do - just seeing it come together was fascinating.
Tenth square, thirty hours, two patterns. I used the suggested colours for the little dog. Then I used those colours to stitch the butterfly/flowers at the bottom. The hearts are from the same series as the butterfly/flowers.
Eleventh square, thirty hours, one pattern. I used the suggested colours.
Twelfth square, twenty hours, two patterns. The flower came from the series with the tea pot (the first square I completed). The bumble bees are from a different pattern. I stitched them around the flower wherever I thought they should go. I choose the colours.
Thirteenth square, thirty hours, one pattern. I used the suggested colours. This pattern was bigger, with two smaller animal in it, but they couldn't all fit in the sq
Fourteenth square, fifteen hours, one pattern from a series of three. Used suggested colours. I used gold thread for the first time ever while stitching this project. It didn't work well on this fabric so I didn't use it in any other square. I look forward to trying it again on aida fabric.
Fifteenth square, fifteen hours, from the same series as the square above. Use the suggested colours. The originally pattern just is just of the carriage. I added the circle of flowers from the princess dress pattern.
Sixteenth square, forty-five hours, one patter. I used the suggest colours. I did not include the sequins that the patter suggested  between the flowers. I think they would be pulled off the blanket too easily or snag on things.
Seventeenth square, fifteen hours, one pattern from the series with the princess dress and carriage. Used the suggested colours. Like the carriage, I added the circle of flowers myself. I made lots of mistakes in this one...
Eighteenth square, fifty hours, all the patterns in a series. Used the suggested colours. This one took a long time to map out. Also, I couldn't do the french knots on this fabric, so those are missing from this (and all the other) squares. I tried picking patterns without any french knots in them.
Nineteenth square, thirty hours, on pattern. Used the suggested colours. This pattern was actually to tall to fit into the square so I had to take out lines here and there. I am very pleased with the end result.
Twentieth (and final!) square, fifty hours, fours patterns. I choose my own colours for everything except the birds/flowers/butterflis around the three middle words. This one took so much work to map out. All the big letters that make up love and grow came individually, and if I hadn't altered the letters none of the words would have fit on the square. The middles three words were from a different pattern, also all as individual letters. The bird, flowers and butterflies in the center were from the same series - the bird ad the flowers directly around it were one pattern but everything else I choose to my liking.
The final square is based on something I did months and months ago, after I had the initial surgery to remove the infected bone from my leg. I had coloured a picture that and changed the text to say "Love makes tibias grow". I then posted about it and said that if love were enough, my tibia would have grown back in a night. Unfortunately, that;s not how things work. But my leg will get there in the long run, even if it's not quite there yet. I thought this phrase was very fitting given the situation.
And there you have it! My blanket. On to the next project now XD I can't walk very far yet anyways, so I might as well make good use of my time.