Disconnected

 Last night of freedom from my IV pump tonight. My last single dose gravity IV bag is infusing right now. Only about 10 minutes left to go, then I can disconnect, flush the line, and go to bed. Tomorrow morning I start using a new pump and IV bags. The new bags are double dose, so I don't have to disconnect myself after each infusion ends and reconnect later in the day to start the second infusion. Because this is how the bags work, they deliver a very very small amount of fluid over the course of the day (keep vein open). So I wake up, switch iv bags, get my antibiotics for 2 hours, then the pump infuses a couple milliliters per hour for 10 hours, before infusing the antibiotics again four two hours, at which point I am asleep, and then infusing a few ml per hour again until the morning when I switch iv bags and the whole thing starts over. As a result, I am connected to my pump and tubing 24/7. At the moment I disconnect completely during the night and most of the day after my infusion ends. So, tonight is my last night of freedom away from the pump. As of tomorrow morning, I will be connected continuously for the next 3 or so months...

I am not sure how to feel about this. It doesn't really matter though, does it? I don't have a choice.

The last few days I have still been feeling pretty run down and generally exhausted. I still look horrible (sunken eyes with shadows under them, tired eyes, etc). If I was otherwise healthy, I would resign my self to feeling ill and lying in bed all day. As it is though, I am not healthy, but  I feel a whole lot better compared to last week. So even though I still feel horrible, I feel much less horrible then last week, giving the feeling that I am better, even though I am far from is. This is the new normal, I suppose. It is amazing how my bad days, and what most people would consider a day to take of sick, are now my good days. Nothing like chronic illness to make you realize how vulnerable life is, how easily we can loss the invincibility young people think they have.

Tired, but much better than last week.

Priming my last gravity IV bag tonight!

The bruising from the PICC line insertion is slowly going away. It looks like the blood/bruise is fading as is slowly moves farther from the insertion site.

Peripheral IV site bruise from last Thursday, taken out the following day. It only took one dose of vancomycin - shows how potent the stuff is in veins. BTW this last one is from last night.

Edit: took one more picture tonight. The bruise from the peripheral site is really starting to fade. More greeny yellow than red/purple now. Doesn't it look yummy?!?