Friday, December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas! A day of being

Today is a special kind of day. A big day. A cozy, surrounded by family, gift giving, and a kitchen full of tasty delicious smelling things to eat kind of day. We all know what I am talking about. Today is Christmas.

So I want to take a moment to wish everyone reading this a very Merry Christmas! May your stockings be stuffed, your pesky relatives pleasant and the turkey just right. Oh, and may your cookie tin never run empty!

Despite all the hecticness in life, today is a day when we can all pause, breathe, relax. I am not a particularly religious person. I don't ascribe to any one religion or piously go to church every week. Nor do I pray or read a Bible. But I do believe there is something about Christmas that is important. This evening my mum and I attended a candle lit service at a local church. Doing so is not a long standing tradition for me, but rather a new thing I started to do a year or so ago. Although I am not a Christian, I felt there was something missing as I sat at home, just me and my mum. Perhaps a service on Christmas Eve could help fill that something. The pastor who conducted today's service said something that I think is important. He said that while the craziness of the world continued outside of the church, for about an hour we were separate from it. We all came together for a purpose, as a community, without out cellphones, distractions, or things constantly demanding our attention. We were in the church and it was quite. At the end of the service, the lights were dimmed, we lit out candles and we sang Silent Night accompanied by the piano. Once we had finished, the pastor asked us to sing again, but this time only the first verse and without the piano playing. He wanted us to reflect on the stillness in the auditorium - our own stillness. So we sang, our voices echoed round the vaulted ceiling, and our candles flickered in the dark. The world had stopped; none of the crazy work schedules, chores to do, lists of present to buy for this or that person mattered; all we heard where our voices singing in unison. In contrast to the entire world outside those church doors, we were completely insignificant, but the quietness and our voices were profound. For lack of a better word (and I do not mean this sacrilegiously), it was magical. It was peaceful.

And I think that is what makes Christmas special. It's not about the presents or pleasing the in-laws or getting that ham cooked to perfection. It is about taking a pause, reveling in the stillness. It is a moment to reflect and be calm. To just be.

As an immigrant with very view relatives in this country, I spend a lot of time alone. The time spent alone has increased tremendously since pausing my education to deal with my health. I really do spend a lot of time alone. A lot of that alone time is spent in quit, reflecting on things, just enjoying the moment and being. But there is not a lot of just being going on amongst people. It is not something that often happens to many people at the same time, be it do to a chaotic home life, busy work schedules, constant access to the news, distractions, differences in hobbies or beliefs, or something else. But we do not often just be together. Someone always has a worry about the future or a big plan to carry out, a project to finish or an appointment to settle an urgent matter or a date with another friend. But on Christmas we pause, we take a break. The world is quiet. And if we want to, I think, we can just be all together. And doing that altogether with a group of strangers tonight is what makes Christmas special to me.

Today it doesn't matter that I am not about to enter what should be my final semester at school. My worries and fears about my leg and the external fixator are set aside. Everything will just be quiet. It will just be. And I will be just being with my family. And that means more to me than I can express.

On a completely different note, this is my 200th post on this blog! That, my friends, is a pretty big accomplishment if you ask me! I am proud of myself for sticking with the blog (even if I am sometimes a bit behind on posting updates) and am extremely pleased at how the blog is turning out. There is something quite satisfying in leaving this record of events for myself - a record of both the good and the bad that will hopefully be a reminder of how much I have grown over the years while dealing with the bone infection and its aftermath. Aside from documenting the medical aspect of my tibia-less mess, pecking away at my keyboard has been a good way to reduce stress and sort through my thoughts and feelings. Nothing like venting my frustration or fear to the void that is the internet in order to feel better. XD. Perhaps this blog has also provided others with a nugget or two of valuable advice. I hope my posts so far have been as enjoyable for you to read as they have been for me to write. And if you like what you read, I hope that you keep coming back as I blog myself into the New Year and beyond. Perhaps I will even get to a 300th post at some point. But for now, I think that two-hundred posts is quite an amazing feat, and I will therefore stick with a big Hurrah!!!

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