Lots to ponder

Today's appointment with my surgeon went differently than I thought it would. I'm not sure if what came out of it was good or not, it really depends on the perspective I take and what specific issue I think weighs the most at any given time.

We have several concerns that we are trying to balance - doing this feels like a juggling act with way too many balls. As a result, we are at a point where we have to make a pretty big decision on how to move forward. Any decision regarding treatment will have both positive and negative consequences. Making a decision ultimately means having to give more weight to one issue but in reality that doesn't really seem so possible to do. I mean, how do you ever decide which issue could cause the most damage and therefore should be more urgent to treat than the others when all the issues could in fact cause damage? There is no magic formula that will determine what issue will cause problem or when they will happen. In the end, its just a matter of choosing the issue we think is most necessary to treat straight away and feeling comfortable and okay with that decision

There isn't really any literature we can go to for advice. No case studies either. Fixators, after all, are rare things. My surgeon said that there are doctors in the province who do this stuff for kids/teens, but it is really uncommon for adults. He then said that he doesn't actually know any other surgeon in Ontario who works with adults who need fixators. So he's kind of one of a kind, and we are lucky to have him! But, that does mean that we are making a decision based solely on the information we have scraped together of the interwebs about growing bone over the last half year and the information provided by my surgeon. We don't have the option to get a second opinion or talk with others who have gone through this. We have to trust that he gives us the best advice possible (and we totally do). But in the end it is my decision and I feel woefully inadequate to make it. What might be a simple thing now could turn into a much bigger problem later on. We just have to make a choice and hope that it was the right one. One we can live with.

I'm going to think about everything a bit more before I post about it. For now, here is a picture of me out for tea at the Prince of Wales hotel with my mum during the Easter Weekend.

One day, I won't be this pale anymore!