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*A rant directed at homeopaths and health nuts who shun modern medicine - stop offering me medical advice!*

During a car ride this evening to get me out of the house for a bit and enjoy the spring sunshine, my mum told me about an event she went to at some point in the last few days. She knew several of the individuals who attended. One of the women there approached my mum and asked how I was doing. As my mum explained the latest things that have happened (like the premature consolidation and the pin removal), she mentioned that one of my pin sites was infected. This woman than proceeded to tell my mum that I could greatly reduce my risk of infection by taking some homeopathic remedy at a local store. Not wanting to get into an argument, my mum bit her tongue even though she really wanted to tell this lady off. Fast forward to this evening, and she was telling me what happened.

Now, this is neither the first time that somebody has offered me some magical cure that my super smart doctors haven't thought of because, you know, big pharma and all that other crap that many followers of homeopathic medicine seem to believe in, nor will it probably be the last. And that kind of pisses me off. Why? Because by providing me with that unsolicited advice, those individuals are making an assumption about me and the medical decisions I make. They are assuming that I don't know any better and am being duped by the big scary medical corporations; they are assuming that I am to stupid to make my own medical decisions and understand what is happening in my own body. They are assuming that I am naive and need somebody to come save me with their amazing, glorious, complete cure promising wonder supplement, concoction, or some other BS. They are assuming that they know more about my health from just the few little details I tell them than I do about my own body and everything I have experienced it go through. They are playing the holier than thou card - if you would just follow my advice, you would get better; you are sick because you don't take this remedy so you must want to be sick.

The thing is, I actually know how the medical system works - I have been dealing with it for the past decade. Thanks to nursing school, I know how the human body works. As a result of both my university and college education, I know the difference between an unbiased, scientific study and some statistics a non-accredited quack pulls of the internet and alters in order to prove his or her own point. I am also smart enough to not be fooled by the logic that homeopaths use: we will try this supplement or combination of natural remedies and see what happens. Don't worry if it doesn't work for you, because everybody is different - different people might need different remedies for the same problem. This way of thinking is flawed, illogical and goes against everything that is known about the human body. It's like treating a person who has an infection with an antibiotics without knowing the cause of the infection first and then, when the infection doesn't go away, blindly searching for anther antibiotics and discarding the old one because "well, everyone's body is different" instead of actually trying to figure out what is causing the damn infection. It doesn't make any sense! Unless the strain that a person has becomes resistant to antibiotics, all staph aureus infections should be able to be successfully treated with the same medications, regardless of the characteristics/emotions/desire to get better of the person who is ill.

Furthermore, by the logic of these homeopaths and all natural nutcases who shun everything within the medical community, you will never actually be able to prove how a medical issue was solved: by flip flopping haphazardly from one natural remedy to another, you never can say for sure which one actually cured the problem or, perhaps, see if the problem actually cured itself. And without scientific studies, which homeopaths conveniently black list because they are used by pharmaceutical companies (note that this implies that every university around the world is also either being duped or out to get everyone under that logic because *gasp* they all use the scientific method as well), you can never have an unbiased study that proves their point. This means that you can never prove or disprove anything that they say. If you are ill and stick with actual medical treatment but don't get better, it's because you didn't us the homeopath's natural remedy but if you do use the natural remedy and don't get better it's because "every body is different and some people might need different cures for the same thing". With that logic, you can never prove that something does/doesn't work. You can also never figure out which treatments actually are successful.

And don't even get me started on the idea that you can dilute a substance 100X and the resulting solution will have the same affect because the surrounding molecules will have a "memory" of the original substance that was diluted. That is not how chemicals and molecular bonds freaking work! A water molecule doesn't have a brain, it has no memory. And by diluting something that many times, there won't be any of the original substance left. That's like taking my pain medication (which I really need because oh my god I have metal pins stuck into my flesh), diluting it 100x, and then expecting it to have the same affect. It won't and I would probably throw a book at you for both causing me pain and your stupidity.

When it comes to my health, I need a little bit more to go on than the word of one individual - an individual who hasn't been to an accredited institution with rules and regulations, who has the freedom to prescribe whatever he or she fancies that day. Sure, modern medicine does have it's drawbacks and I am not a supporter of everything that pharmaceutical companies do, but there are best practice guidelines, unbiased studies, meta analysis that compare the results of many studies on the same topic, and a strict code of ethics and professionalism to adhere to. That appeals to me much more than whatever is offered to me by some woman with a degree she bought of the internet. So no, unless your magical concoction can regrow my tibia and prevent my leg from ever getting infected again, I don't want it. But I sure as hell want to see some scientific studies on it first if you insist that it can. You know, just to make sure you aren't fooling me into buying some super expensive herbal remedy from which all the profit goes directly into your pocket.

Oh, and by the way, you can believe all the nonsense about big pharma coming after us that you want, but I don't believe that my doctors have put so much time and effort into making me better because they are part of some sort of scam. That just doesn't make sense. If you want to believe that line of thinking, by default you have to believe that every single health care worker out there is in on the scam - that instead of loving, hard working, self-less, compassionate people, that they are all leaching, thieving ***holes. And that's just not true. My surgeon, for one, has worked endlessly to fix my leg. He has a crazy schedule, sees upwards of 100 patients per clinic day (which, by the way, winds down to less than 5 minutes per patients), performs surgeries, and works at several different hospitals. Oh, and he is involved in teaching medical students to. And, he does research and presentations. He is a pretty busy man. But despite all this, when he sees me he treats me like I am the only patient there and gives me his full attention. I don't have to worry about him being busy or about all the other patients in the waiting room. I can just take my time to ask my questions and express my concerns; he will answer as truthfully as possible. And, while he remains ever hopeful, he doesn't sugar coat things or offer me some ultimate cure. He deals in reality, not the unrealistic notion of an ultimate cure; I respect that. He wouldn't do that if he didn't ave my best interest at heart, if he was just in on some big scam.

The next time that you are ill and actually require medical attention, remember that the health care professionals are working hard to help you - their shifts are often long, exhausting, and filled with patients expecting to be treated as if they are at the Hilton Hotel. Their jobs are underpaid and often thankless, but they still come in to do them every day and that has nothing to do with some sort of conspiracy. Or, you know, you could take your own remedies when you are ill and see how far they get you. Unfortunately for you though, neither modern remedies nor your snake oil will cure stupidity.

I feel a whole lot better now. Rant done.