Back to school

Classes started today. I am now officially no longer one of those clueless first semester nursing students, incredibly proud to have a uniform and nursing paraphernalia like blood pressure cuff, stethoscope, pocket thingy to keep my many pens and pencils organized in the numerous over sized pockets of my scrub pants and one of those cool little pen lights you always see doctors shining in peoples eyes on Grey's Anatomy, yet utterly lacking in nursing knowledge. I now have some actual skills and have been deemed proficient enough, along with my classmates, to move onto second semester (and to start placement in a hospital... with actual sick people - a big improvement from working with dummies in the mock hospital ward - next week)! As one of my friends in the program and I have joked, we are no longer baby nurses. We are now toddlers allowed to roam free on the inpatient wards. Just kidding - I am sure the staff we work with will keep a tight rein on us.

It was wonderful to see all of my classmate after our two week hiatus, but it was difficult to tell people about my leg and the appointments I had over the break. I only told two people. While they are supportive, and I am really appreciative of that, they don't understand the situation or grasp what it means for me. I can't blame them for that - they have not gone through chronic illness and relapse. But I still feel alone, and at the end of the day being surrounded by friends does not completely take away from that. I think it is time to talk to the school counselor. The irony of being ill while learning to care for ill people is not lost on me. On the one hand, my experiences will help me become a better nurse, but on the other, I need to make sure to take care of me first.

I did call my infectious disease specialist today, and left a message informing her of what is going on. Hopefully I hear back from her office this week. Regardless of what she says, though, I am going to focus on my school work. I am very excited about this semester, and don't want the bone infection to steal more from me than it already has.

It is time for bed now. I have been sleeping horribly since mid last week, and while my leg hasn't been hurting badly, it has been feeling quite uncomfortable. Hope for sunshine and feeling better rested tomorrow.