I had some bone pain this morning/early afternoon. Not severe, but there none the less. It went away went away by the time I got to my father's house (about 4:15) for dinner. I got back to my place in Hamilton just after 8. While I was putting my new book case together my shin started to itch a bit. I ignored it, finished building the bookcase, put away all my clean laundry, groceries, and textbooks, and went for a walk around the hospital/campus. As usual, it was lovely - a stolen moment - walking in the cool, misty air, all alone. My leg felt a bit odd but I chose to ignore it. I got home just before eleven and decided to shower - throughout my leg became more and more itchy. It is a horrible itch. Nothing makes it bearable. At times it feels unbearable. There is also now a small red spot, almost on top of the scar left by a previous abscess on my shin. I will wait to see what happens until the morning. I am not sure if I will call my surgeon or infectious disease specialist about it - not much they can do anyways, since I am already on antibiotics. I took pictures to document it show I can show my doctors the next time I see them.
I want to be beyond the point of caring. I feel I am on the verge, but at the end of the day I can't cross that line - there is no other choice than to keep hoping that this can be fixed.
I have been talking about my options with my mum. She suggested I write out the pros and cons of having surgery/not having surgery to help make up mind or, at least, to see all the factors together instead of independently. I will try to do that after classes end for the day tomorrow afternoon.
All I want for tonight is for the itch to go away. I don't know how to describe it - it is intense, from deep inside. I swear it will drive me mad one of these days.
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